BEAUTY: Curaprox | Velvet 12460

I wouldn’t believe Leo’s nose between his eyes. Because Leo was a good one when it came to math, and he could draw a Vitruvian man perfectly. He drew a perfection that doesn’t even exist, b od one when it came to math, and he could draw a Vitruvian man perfectly. He drew a perfection that doesn’t even exist, but is geometrically functional. And from there it’s not that far to some Mona Lisa smile. ut is geometrically functional. And from there it’s not that far to some Mona Lisa smile.

Her name was Mona Lisa and she might have insisted on that smile. On that mocking smile. And maybe it’s all a lie. And there was no Mona Lisa. Only the woman and the name and smile were invented and painted by Leonardo. And people are finally debating about something else. It’s not the breasts or the eyes, but the smile. Leo overwhelmed us nicely and we have been arguing for centuries whether she was a mother, what kind of landscape is in the background, we are following her facial expressions, her dress. But most of all a smile. 

That smile of Mona Lisa. We compose a jigsaw puzzle from the details of that painting and never… 

we will really never know again. 

Just so much to that. We only really know about a big nothing. I wouldn’t believe Leo\’s nose between his eyes. Because Leo was a good one when it came to math, and he could draw a Vitruvian man perfectly. He drew a perfection that doesn’t even exist, but is geometrically functional. And from there it’s not that far to some Mona Lisa smile. He would certainly be a good plastic surgeon, and he would sketch such a pretty smile on your face that you would just stare. And everyone around would say – Aha, Mona Lisa is coming. And she smiles again.   

I don’t believe Mona. Leo, don’t be angry, but I don’t believe you either. Such an idyllic smile and that look and those hands placed so uncomfortably. Where did you see a woman really look like this and sit like this for hours and years until you touch the canvas with the brush for the last time. Come to me for a coffee. I\’ll show you what a woman is and I will add one of my 6,000 selfies as a proof. To see what a real Mona Lisa is. There are more of us like that. If not all, so that I don\’t hurt anyone. You also gave her an artistic name. The whole thing is kind of too pofider. That smile, the pose and above all the name. Who ever saw someone called Mona Lisa and smiled so mockingly. Leo you created a good fake. Insta is just a weak tea. And where are her teeth? They asked about it in Curaprox. They wanted to know what brushing technique she used, whether she used the Curaprox Velvet 12460 brush, or took it straight with wood chips laid by the fireplace, the shade of the enamel, the amount of teeth and the symmetry. You hide so much you literally have stole all that data. Maybe your Mona wasn’t as perfect as you painted it. Leo, Leo. You hid a lot from us and they won’t forget it in Curaprox. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t show their teeth when they smile.   

I’ve written about it somewhere before that I look at people’s teeth. Now I’m a little narrow because people are wearing masks. And not only do I not see if they are laughing, smiling or mocking, but most of all I do not see the dental situation. All this info about teeth is actually useless to me, but I can’t forgive the sight of the teeth. 

I am convinced that I am not alone and that I have it in my genes and that generations in advance have done it too. Did I check your teeth, I’m sorry. I do it subconsciously. What a weak alibi. My Mia is horrified by every such tooth, because dogs see it differently. They see simply naked teeth without censorship. They see a weapon. She’s been doing it since someone once bit me so much that they had to stab me with the antitetanus injection. Since then, Mia is slightly worried about people, and so am I.   

I knew a teenager who had two gold teeth instead of two front white teeth. I never asked him how he got them, how he lost the two original ones, whether he was a hockey player or a boxer, I never spoke to him, but I know that during his teenage time he had no girlfriend. I am so sorry. I don\’t know his name, but I know he had two golden teeth. Just to see how important teeth play in my life and how attentive and tactless I am.    But even so, I\’m looking forward to the times when I put my prosthesis in a glass cup with my old man, and sometimes manage to swap our cups. You know, a sclerosis. One with the other. Perfection simply. Such a retirement idyll.   

What is left when our generation is only bones and teeth. Archaeologists know about those a lot. Therefore, make sure that they do not have to talk about us as a generation of hungry or toothless people.

Volala sa Mona Lisa a možno si trvala na svojom. Na tom posmešnom úsmeve. A možno to je všetko lož. A žiadna Mona Lisa nebola. Iba žena a meno a úsmev jej primaľoval Leonardo. A ľudia raz konečne debatujú o niečom inom. Nie sú to prsia, alebo oči, ale úsmev. Leo nás pekne obalamutil a my po stáročia polemizujeme, či bola matka, čo je to za krajinu v pozadí, sledujeme jej mimiku, jej šaty. Ale hlavne úsmev. 

Ten úsmev, akože Mony Lisy. Skladáme skladačku z detailov toho obrazu a nikdy. Už naozaj nikdy nebudeme vediať viac. Len toľko, že… 

vieme naozaj veľké nič. 

Leovi by som neverila ani nos medzi očami. Pretože Leo to mal dobre zmáknuté, čo sa týka matiky a vedel dokonale nakresliť muža Vitruviana. Nakreslil dokonalosť, ktorá vlastne ani neexistuje, ale geometricky je funkčná. A odtiaľ to už nie je tak ďaleko k nejakej Mone Lise. Určite by bol aj dobrý plastický chirurg a načrtol by vám taký úsmev na tvár, že by ste len tak pozerali. A všetci naokolo by si povedali – Aha Mona Lisa ide. A zas sa usmieva. 

Neverím Mone. Leo nehnevaj sa, ale ani tebe nie. Taký idylický úsmev a ten pohľad a tie ruky tak nepohodlne položené. To kde si videl, aby sa nejaká žena takto naozaj tvárila a takto sedela hodiny a roky, kým sa ty poslednýkrát dotkneš štetcom plátna. Poď ku mne na kávu. Ja ti ukážem, čo je žena a k tomu pridám ako dôkaz niektorú z mojich 6000 selfie. Aby si videl, čo je naozajstná Mona Lisa. Je nás takých viac. Ak nie všetky, aby som zas nejakej nekrivdila. Ešte si jej dal aj umelecké meno. Celé je to nejaké príliš pofiderné. Ten úsmev, póza a predovšetkým to meno. Kto to kedy videl, aby sa niekto volal Mona Lisa a ešte sa k tomu tak posmešne usmievala. Leo vytvoril si nám dobrý fejk. Insta je len slabý čaj. A kde má zuby? Pýtali sa na to v Curaprox. Chceli vedieť, akú používala techniku čistenia zubov, či používala kefku Curaprox Velvet 12460, alebo to zobrala rovno trieskou z dreva položeného pri krbe, aký má odtieň skloviny, počet zubov a súmernosť. O tieto data si nás ukrátil. Možno tá tvoja Mona nebola až taká dokonalá, ako si ju namaľoval. Leo, Leo. Veľa si nám zatajil a v Curaprox ti to nezabudnú. Neverím nikomu, kto pri úsmeve neukáže zuby. 

Kdesi som to už raz napísala, že ľuďom pozerám na zuby. Teraz som trochu v úzkych, lebo ľudia nosia masky. A nielen, že nevidím či sa smejú, usmievajú, alebo posmievajú, ale hlavne nevidím tú zubnú situáciu. Celé to info o zuboch mi je vlastne k ničomu, ale neviem si ten pohľad na zuby odpustiť. 

Som presvedčená, že nie som sama a že to mám v génoch a že generácie predomnou to robili tiež. Vy, čo vám omrknem zuby, mi prepáčte. Robím to podvedome. Aké chabé aliby. Moja Mia sa pri každom takom zube zdesí, lebo psy to vidia inak. Vidia jednoducho vycerené zuby bez cenzúry. Vidia zbraň. Robí to od vtedy, čo ma raz niekto pohrýzol tak, že mi museli pichnuť tetanovku. Odvtedy má Mia z ľudí mierne obavy a ja tiež. 

Poznala som tínedžera, ktorý mal namiesto predných dvoch bielych zubov, dva zlaté. Nikdy som sa ho neopýtala, ako k nim prišiel, ako prišiel o tie dva pôvodné, či bol hokejista alebo boxér, nikdy som sa mu neprihovorila, ale viem, že celý ten tínedžerský čas nemal žiadnu babu. Je mi to tak ľúto. Neviem jeho meno, ale viem, že mal dva zlaté zuby. To len aby ste videli, akú dôležitosť hrajú zuby v mojom živote a aká som všímavá a netaktná.    Ale aj tak, teším sa na časy, keď si budem odkladať svoju protézu raz so svojím starčekom do skleneného pohára a niekedy sa nám podarí zameniť tie svoje poháre. Veď viete, skleróra. Jedno s druhým. Dokonalosť jednoducho. Taká dôchodcovská idylka.   

Čo po našich generáciách ostane sú kosti a zuby. A archeológovia o tom vedia svoje. Dbajte preto na to, aby o nás raz nemuseli hovoriť ako o generácii nenažraných, či bezzubých.